<< : 2003-08-20 :: 12:15 a.m. : >>
No Life within Fear!

Where it all is, I'm not sure. That place your suppose to be at 20 I am far from I'm sure. I'm still very much a girl, starting my journey through both life and Womanhood. The exception is that I'm terrified, I don't know how to work past the paralizing fear. I look at all the people around me and I just don't get it, they know "the how to" , the "do it because"..... I wasn't built with that program, I honestly don't know what I was built for. Is there anything special to me, different. Only on the inside it seems. While everybody is going about there day, I'm just wondering how can I be without mine. It all seems so unreal, unlike a dream, unlike a person, just void. I'm scared of the unknown, and I worry about the things most people never think of. Why? What would I do with out it? I finally feel, the time when you realize your highschool friends are nothing like you, no similarites anymore just differences, bleak, and rude. It doesn't mean you love them any less, but you know they less and less understand you and you them. There moving here, you moving there or nowhere. The reasons you were friends aren't the same. What to do? I am Always grateful, but what about my life, how do I life?

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