<< : 2003-08-20 :: 2:12 a.m. : >>
Dealing with fear and who I've become.

Without reason, I don't have to many to give. I'm lost. I'm not even that heavily black eyelined girl, whose contraversial, and seeks to make you accept her. Maybe that's me underneath, mad, deep, denying myself. I prefer to hide it all away. To hide. Then, that whole invisiblity angers me. I must express, I must make a difference. I starve myself from all experience. Why? because of fear, without reason. I try to figure out why I deconstruct myslf, but I haven't found the reason. I have to deal with it, the fear, who I've become. Confront it, but how. It's easy when they say here's the medication. When the words they prescribe seem so simple in themselves, like the action should be. Where is the beginning, the lever, how to deal and come out of it alive, maybe to different beyond recognition. The unknown! Without a reason.

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