<< : 2003-10-25 :: 11:52 p.m. : >>
Rules of Attraction

I realize I give up my soul to easily, my spirit is wounded by the swift, graceless move, in chess I would quickly be checkmated in a matter of moves less than six.

The emptiness I carry inside of me, along with the pain, and I am to eager to rejoice in laughter and love, and to sarcastic in my nature now to laugh at myself.

Protective of my heart, I still wear it awkwardly on my sleeve, as if a nerd, as if I will die from sudden death if not delievered swiftly.

They mock me, with their eyes, and their sudden awareness of my low self esteem...what happen to the Confident girl I use to be as a child? My spirit remembers her foundly, and reminds me constantly that it would rather be in her.

Insepid games, love is but a stradegy of moves, a preperation of lies, and I am in the less than minor leagues. I stumble on my need when I find you exceptional, and hide away when you find me too intense and no longer appealing.

What am I to do with the girl I am, and the Cool woman I long to be, when my intensity becomes but a beautiful passion, and my mystery becomes more than a game.

I was never very good at being a mouse, and too honest in my akwardness to ever be the Cat...I am the Hole, the bareness in between where nothing exsist.

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