<< : 2003-09-08 :: 7:08 p.m. : >>
This Cookie is without a fortune.

Completely used up! That's how I feel. Like a dirty mat people, friends scrape their dirt covered, birkenstocks on. I wear Ugg boots. Soft, inside with a thick hide and durable.

She doesn't care, he doesn't care, they don't care!!!!! Am I so invisible. The wind makes more sound than I make. Biting ,scratching to be noticed. Do you Notice me, or am I a name of a flower? Hard to pronounce, hard to remember. So you forget all together, and it is but another flower. No different, lumped into the same.

You are busey, she is busey, They are, all to busey. So I will take a bow, and say thank'ya maime. Gritting my teeth, as I listen to your sorrows and complaints, like a dog. Begging, pleating that maybe, maybe after your done with your sounds and secrets, you will show me affection. I'm still not there. I don't even register, unless I'm loud!

I have to be loud! I let you in , mushy inside, and you see it. That I'm needy, that I overcompansate. Hear me, see me, love me. You shrug it off, set it aside because it makes you awkward, too strange to bare,unseemly.

My affection is a pass time, you use when convenient. Though I take you as you are with all your flaws. My pain, my needs, my insecurites are Judged against me, until I am hung out as an example of something best forgotton. Yes, my love is from those who never recieved and never gave much, for fear. My love is of the heart on their sleeves, or the nerds who were patheticly crushing on all those who would never see them.

My life is ill exsisting. I am however forced to listen to your problems, while mine are simply make believe. I continue to hold your hand, while yours only comes when I want to die. No you don't want me, just the assurance, that when no one else is there to hold you up, I will. I will see all your ugliness and say to you, it is still beautiful.

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