<< : 2003-08-23 :: 5:32 p.m. : >>
The compromise of Spirit

Everyone say's I'll be an old maid! This partially fills me with fear, and a certain comfort. To not be distinguished as a man's wife.

I can't help to think that people fall in love and marry reguardless of there spirits. You give up the "itch", the way you were, to be with that person. There are times when it doesn't last, when the itch becomes to great, and then you lose to it. I can't help but ask the question in being in a relationship do you give up so much that you actually give up your spirit? In turn you die, a part of you anyways. So is it about living in torment, or living alone?

I'm picky because I will not for any reason yeld, because I am not easily impressed. I will not settle, and certainly not give up my spirit for any reason.

What if you have to though, to go about the everyday relationship. This is a life I don't think I could belong to.

I am picky because I find it tedious, not to mention tiring to entertain men,and people.

I am a dreamer, because I wait, wanting someone who feels natural to me. A man who could only exsist in stories and idea's.

I too like the feel of a man, but my lips have never felt the taste of their's, my skin has never pressed naked against their's, unless in my dreams.

I love the hands of men, the viens in there forearms, and the way t-shirts will hang "just so", off their backs.

I like there nobility and rightous speeches,and even their cocky dispostions, but I am only wooed by there eyes. The soul of a man, staring me down, waiting me out, and shaking me so that I almost forget to breathe.

I'm scared to death of the things that come after we feel eachother up and down, after tounges clash. Those moments are full of passion and spirits.

What about after though, perhaps relationship where ment to break,like ashes,like plastic. Everything fades away.

Forgive me if I do not roll over everytime a boy whistles at me, or beeps his horn,or starts humping the air. I am not made for that, I can be his whore, take part in pleasure that is easy. After that though it becomes a web, of deceptions, compromises, fights, and outside factors,that will break us.If this is what it is to be a wife,a girlfriend. I can not do it! It is a singlar act, in a duet.

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