<< : 2003-09-04 :: 1:50 a.m. : >>
The Legend of Cary Grant.

I've been thinking a lot about love, and guys. Sexuality, attraction,and relationships. The way things are now oppose to how they use to be. When men no longer strived to be Cary Grant, but more like Hugh Hefner, or Billy Idol.

Gentleman is no longer a presence but an ideal. Opening doors is the best we can do,and mistaking gentleman for the boring, run of the mill, good guy of today.

Not to say that we as woman have not changed. We were once seen as Greta Garbo's , but are now striving to be Angelina Jolie's in a sense. The roles have changed. Men are more confused than ever, what was once a basic primal instinic or a predictable role, is now a guessing game that they have made into a quest for sexual prowess.

Woman have chanllenged their own sexuality and Independence. Pushing the defintion of Whore, or Bitch.

Where things better before, or simpler on a different scale? Before things were hidden, masked to the social eye. Men and woman knew their place in life, and lasted longer than in todays relationships do. In those lies and acceptablities was there a truth, or status(pigeonhole) of hell you endured. The ideals of those older generations has disintegrated into a dream, a story made into fairytales to read to the kiddies. A history long marveled at as absurd.

However, todays men are overindulding sex maniacs, not all mind you. While they are still droned, or programmed to be men in all their own rights, like their predecessor's.Only the criteria has evolved. They see how many woman they can accure like wine, or how long they can endure keeping them, until the fantasy of what maybe their dreams comes along.

I still believe in the ideals and the fairy tales. In my Cary Grant. I'am also as most girls seem to be made for not without my savoir , or wild oates complex. I love the bad boys, the brooding, troubled one's. Which now days does not mean passionate Marlo Brando or genuine James Dean. More so of a player or a gang thug, or even a wanna be. Which is just sickening.

More so now a girl is still subject to a man, because I believe men have become so fustrated about their new found roles, they're made into angry rapist, stalkers,and crazies. Again this is not all men. Our vulnerablity is still a thirst men need to own.

I haven't meet a man yet, a men of those ideal's or with such love in his eyes for me. Seeing me in all my beauty and manificent flaws. It isn't like the movies or stories, all though I want them so. No what we're left with now is days of expectations, self doubt, players, waiting for the other shoe to drop, and assumptions.

Which unfortunantly having nothing to do with love. Love is not ruled or has rules to be met by. It is blind, and can destroy you or create you. People assume to much about love, when it's really about them and nothing about love. Love is an action, a feeling, a thought projected, served,and manifested by you or from you.

I'm am utterly so lonely, so unforgiving about loves absence in my life, I'm starving for anyone to understand me. To touch me, to want me more than anything, that my view of them gets blurred. Their never what they seem. I lay reserved, fearful, and unexperienced in that simple act, that seems to be programmed into everyone else. I ask questions, purpose theories, and have yet to meet any man that moves me the way music does, or a good movie.

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