<< : 2003-09-28 :: 1:09 a.m. : >>
When did I first love Music?

When's the first time I fell in love with music?

I remember being a little girl no older than 5 maybe six, younger even, watching my mom on her old acoustic Guitar ( Which is now mine ). She'd sing and strum her red long fingernails among the cords, and I begged for more, more. My Brother would play the oldies on the recorder player in our house, and " Yakkety Yak", was the love of my life. I pretended to play the saxophone, while my charismatic brother danced about. I knew it right than, that music was everything, it was my life and my soul. I started singing it, dancing to it, as if it were air. Only I didn't know it than.

My Big brother feed my cravings from Frank Sinatra to Kiss, he never left a stone unturned, and it all turned me on.I got my fix anyway I could, from Star Search to musicals, and Dolly Parton. I sang to release, to express, I sang in front of everyone. If I was sad I sang, if I loved you I sang, and my songs were all about the intensity of the lyrics, the harmonies. All unpracticed and unprepared. I didn't mind be naked than

As I matured my music became silenced to the chambers of my room and close friends. I'd lost my voice, but music was still evolving, and so did my flavors, year by year. It saw me through Family disfuntions, boys, my own awkwardness. Whatever I was feeling, whatever pain or Joy, music held me in it beats, arrangments, and intensity. It was poetry.

I understood, not only the sound, but the lyrics in my adolescence. The words drove into me, digging at me. Bobbing my head, I knew the words were speaking for me, with me, and I went through the ride everytime. So I wrote, I really listened, and music became more than a sanctuary, but also a art form, a skill to acknowledge. It wasn't about the word " selling out", or gendres. It was about talent in all forms and sounds. The power to move me, really move me. That was the true test, the real pressure.

I fell in love again with Chris Cornell in " Like a Stone" with his Voice I saw God, saw all the beauty and complexity of her gifts, and I knew she had to be a woman. I breathed real air with, Common in " Red Delight". He was poetry in motion. His rhymes, his beats, I found peace in them. I saw strength in Evanescence the record still defines my pain, the voice still captivates my spirit.

Ya, no other could do to me what music can, I took a vow to it, married it at birth. So now I know what I admire in people and what man I will only settle for, true vision, true talent, and a great love for music. Just music.

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